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Posts Tagged ‘Lacresha Hayes’

The Battles Within

Posted by Dress for Success Midwest Professional Women's Group on August 25, 2010

The biggest battles a person who has suffered through abuse will ever fight are the battles that rage within. Those endless questions that plague victims of abuse can literally suck the life right out of them. What did I do to deserve this? Why did this happen to me? I’m not a bad person, am I? What if it happens again? Why couldn’t I defend myself? If there is a God, why did he let this happen? This doesn’t happen to normal people, does it?

We have to realize the first thing that must be rebuilt is self-esteem and we win these inner battles by realizing the abuse is over. We arm ourselves with knowledge, get the help we need without feeling ashamed of that need, and we love ourselves again. It is not required that others love and/or respect us for us to love and respect ourselves. Bad things happen to undeserving people all the time. Everything is not something we can control, but we can control how much of our life is affected by the stuff that enters it.

Be strong and know that you have the power to win any battle you face. You’ve survived the abuse. Now, conquer it!

Lacresha Hayes is the author of bestseller, The Rape of Innocence: Taking Captivity Captive. She is also a consultant to churches and businesses, as well as a grant writer. She works tirelessly with victims of sexual and physical abuse and is a speaker on the RAINN Speaker’s bureau.

For more information, visit her website,http://lacreshatheauthor.weebly.com

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Processing Pain

Posted by Dress for Success Midwest Professional Women's Group on July 29, 2010

There’s a big difference in stumping your toe and dropping a motor on your foot. The level of pain is different. The level of damage is different. And hence, the method and length of healing will be different. Seems simple to understand when put that way, but we don’t act like it when it concerns emotional pain.

Just because you can’t see the scar doesn’t mean it’s not there. We have to be careful to allow people to fully process their pain. It doesn’t matter if we think someone should be over something by now. Our opinions are useless and can be counterproductive.

Processing pain involves a time period of grieving and yes for some, wallowing. Not everyone is going to go through their trials the same way, but the thing is to let them go through it with our support. Our jobs are to gently support and guide a person toward something better on the other side of pain. We should show them the light that is awaiting them when the process is finished, not time how long the process takes.

If you have, and we all have, hurting people in your life, don’t judge them if they appear weak to you. You don’t know what they’ve been through and you don’t know how much it may have hurt them. And you also don’t know how powerful they can be when all the hurting is done. You be an encourager and remind them that it won’t hurt always. They won’t feel weak always. Things can get better with time if they let it. But don’t you dare make a hurting person feel guilty because they are hurting.

Lacresha Hayes is the author of bestseller, The Rape of Innocence: Taking Captivity Captive. She is also a consultant to churches and businesses, as well as a grant writer. She works tirelessly with victims of sexual and physical abuse and is a speaker on the RAINN Speaker’s bureau.

For more information, visit her website,http://lacreshatheauthor.weebly.com/

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